Happily Ever
Laughter
Yakov Smirnoff
Heal the rifts with those
you love—and keep your
sense of humor
A Change of Focus
Q: I turned 50 last year, and
ever since then I’ve been terrified that the best part of my
life is behind me. It’s true that I
have a wonderful wife, I enjoy
my job as a teacher, and I’m
set financially for retirement,
but I keep obsessing about the
inevitable day when I’ll have
no job responsibilities. My children are growing up and don’t
need me as a provider so much
anymore. I feel as if my life is
shrinking. How do I find my
passion again? —SOUL-SEARCHING
You are approaching a time in life
when you can not only choose the
games you wish to play but also write
your own rules and be a winner every
time. You’ll finally have the time and
the freedom to experiment and play,
with hobbies and new occupations
that interest you. What do you really
love to do—I mean, besides your job?
What energizes and excites you? Even
though you still have quite a few working years left, it’s not too early to get a
jump-start on working toward making
yourself a winner.
Want to continue teaching? You
could volunteer at a Boys & Girls Club
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
A: Let’s see: You have a wonderful
wife and children, financial security
for retirement, and you get AARP discounts. All you need is a piña colada
and you are in paradise, dude.
Why is it we insist on finding things
to fret about? Long before we actually
retire, a lot of us worry about lost
careers. I think it’s partly because we
tend to see our lives as a kind of game.
When you are working and raising
children, certain rules of the game help
you track your progress. If you get a
raise, you know you’ve scored. If your
kids are healthy and well behaved, your
score gets higher. If you forget your
wife’s birthday, well, let’s just say that
you don’t score for a while. The desire
to win makes life stimulating.
Joke
GRANDPA: “I used to skate
out on the pond. I made a
tire swing, and swam in
the creek, and rode horses.”
GRANDDAUGHTER: “Wow—
I sure wish I’d gotten to
know you sooner!”
or teach a class at your local house of
worship. If you have professional skills
you’d like to share, why not become an
instructor at a community college?
If you have a hobby, find a way to get
more serious about it. For example, if
snapping pictures is your thing, you
could take a class in photography and
set a goal to create a family photo album
as Christmas presents for each of your
children. Who knows—you could become a paparazzo for a popular tabloid
(please, aim for my good side!).
I think you’ve already acknowledged your real, deep-down fear: that
as you get older you won’t be needed
as much by those you love. But reread
that letter you wrote: your wonderful
wife and your children just might be
anxiously awaiting the day when you
can spend less time with your career
and more time with them. ;
FROM LEFT: EDWARD BIAMON TE; ILLUS TRATION B Y TIM BOWER
Comedian Yakov Smirnoff has a master’s
degree in applied positive psychology
from the University of Pennsylvania.
