to teach preschool. “I let the kids play
with my canes—as long as they don’t
use them as weapons!” she quips. She
advertises her attitude on her license
plate, which reads: “Get Back Up.”
They give back “The benefit
you derive for yourself is as great as
that you give to others,” says Goldstein,
who cites research showing that people
who help others live longer.
New Yorker Renee Weinhouse, 79,
would agree. Since surviving stage 4
lymphoma 28 years ago, she’s been a
regular fixture at Montefiore Medical
Center in the Bronx, where she visits
cancer patients and now also runs survivor support groups. “Nothing makes
me happier than when I give a patient
a little hope,” says Weinhouse.
They pick their battles “Re-
silient people tend to focus on things
over which they have some influence
and not spend time on things they can’t
control,” says Brooks. Wallow in anger
or fear, or move on? It’s up to you.
They stay healthy A good diet
and regular physical activity provide
crucial buffers against stress. “Exercise
literally helps to repair neurons in brain
areas that are particularly susceptible
to stress,” says Southwick. Deborah
Robinson made time to practice yoga
every day, even when her husband’s
Alzheimer’s required more hands-on
care from her. “I realized that if I was
going to be good for him, I had to be
good to myself,” she says.
They find the silver lining
“Resilient people convert misfortune
into good luck and gain strength from
adversity,” says Siebert. They see negative events as an opportunity to better
themselves or become better people.
Southwick says the phenomenon is
known as post-traumatic growth syndrome. And Barbara Smith seems to
have it: “If I hadn’t experienced Evan’s
death, I would not be able to help other
mothers get through their grief,” she
says. “Putting together a place where
we could share resources has forced
me to set aside my own pain and try to
make a difference in the world.” ;
Beth Howard is a writer based in Charlotte, North Carolina.
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