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He Can’t Be Serious
AT 63, DAVE BARRY FLEXES HIS HUMORUS MAXIMUS
Books
BILL WAX/DANIEL PORTNOY; ILLUSTRATION BY ZACH TRENHOLM
Q: I was about to ask “What’s so funny about aging?” but your new book,
I’llMature WhenI’mDead, answers that question.
A: I’m old enough to take Social Security, so I guess I feel comfortable mocking it.
But I’ve also had encounters with Dr. Ectomy and Dr. Oscopy in the past few years.
Q: You do relish talking about your colonoscopy.
A: Out of cowardice and stupidity, I had turned 60 without having one. But then my little brother got diagnosed
with cancerous polyps—it was really scary, and I was
really shook. So I had it done. When I woke up afterward
I told the doc, “Okay, I’m ready for the procedure now!”
I have to say, I like the drug they give you—propofol, I
think it’s called. I think it should be part of my day, really.
Q: I hear you’ve taken up Spinning.
A: My wife is fit; she and her friend Erica the Nazi spin-class leader got me into it. You cycle, cycle, cycle, but you
never go anywhere. I haven’t missed a class.
Q: Where do you stand on boomers and spandex?
A: If you look like the Hindenburg about to erupt in
flames, you may want to rethink the look. —Allan Fallow
ON MY
BOOKSHELF
VALERIE
BERTINELLI
Zeitoun
BY DAVE EGGERS
“A devastating
portrayal of
humanity—good
and bad—in
the days after
Hurricane
Katrina. Both
heartwarming
and sad.”