He Can’t Be Serious
AT 63, DAVE BARRY FLEXES HIS HUMORUS MAXIMUS
ON M Y
BOOKSHELF
VALERIE
BERTINELLI
Zeitoun
BY DAVE EGGERS
“A devastating
portrayal of
humanity—good
and bad—in
the days after
Hurricane
Katrina. Both
heartwarming
and sad.”
Q: I was about to ask “What’s so funny about aging?” but your
new book, I’llMature WhenI’mDead,answers that question.
A: I’m old enough to take Social Security, so I feel comfortable mocking it. But
I’ve also had encounters with Dr. Ectomy and Dr. Oscopy in the past few years.
Q: You do seem to relish talking about your colonoscopy.
A: Out of pure cowardice and stupidity, I had turned 60 without having one. But
then my little brother got diagnosed with cancerous polyps—it was really scary,
and I was really shook. So I had it done. When I woke up afterward I told the
doc, “Okay, I’m ready for the procedure now!” I have to say, I like the drug they
give you—propofol, I think it’s called. I think it should be part of my day, really.
Q: You write that younger generations “are busy tweeting podcast
You Tube blog apps on Facebook, or whatever the hell they’re doing
these days.” Have you become a tweeting fool?
A: I tweeted a bit at first to find out what it’s all about. And I discovered it’s kind
of like electronic burping. People do it, but do we really need to hear about it?
Q: I hear you’ve taken up Spinning.
A: My wife is fit—don’t you hate that?—and she and her friend Erica the Nazi
spin-class leader got me into it. You cycle, cycle, cycle, but you never go anywhere. You stay right there in that room, smelling the groin sweat of previous
spinners and listening to music you don’t recognize. I haven’t missed a class.
Q: Where do you stand on boomers and spandex?
A: For me it’s a bulge issue. If you look like you could burst into flames any minute like the Hindenburg, maybe you should not wear that attire. —Allan Fallow
Hot Reads
In the Neighborhood
BY PETER LOVENHEIM.
Shocked by a murder-
suicide on his street,
Lovenheim resolves to
break down the barriers
isolating him from his
neighbors. He invites himself to sleep over
at their houses—and four agree. When
Lovenheim connects two neighbors in
need, he moves from observer to activist,
and his book sheds its voyeuristic vibe.
29: A Novel BY ADENA
HALPERN. On her 75th
birthday, Ellie Jerome—
a with-it Philadelphia
widow harboring a few
life regrets—wishes to be
29 again for a day. Wish
granted! The rejuvenated Ellie sips bub-
bly with her granddaughter, flirts with
a young man, and trades in her “granny
panties.” It’s all good fun—until Ellie starts
to wonder if she’s made a wise exchange.
Hellhound on His Trail:
The Stalking of Martin
Luther King Jr. and the
International Hunt for
His Assassin BY HAMP-
TON SIDES. How a drifter
felled a dreamer is laid out
here in meticulous—and shattering—
detail. Sides also re-creates King’s strug-
gle to keep the Civil Rights Movement
nonviolent—and exposes the FBI’s
about-face from tormentor to avenger.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Jilted by Morpheus
Wide Awake: A Memoir of Insomnia
BY PATRICIA MORRISROE. A midlife
quest for a peaceful night’s rest turns
into a hilarious (and disturbing)
portrait of our always-up, always-on
society. Like many of the “cures” this
fourth-generation
insomniac sampled
in vain (sleeping
pills, muscle relax-
ation, hypnotherapy,
a psychic visit, and
buying a mattress
called Serenity),
her book is a real eye
opener. ;
