THE BEST
OF YOUR LIFE
CONNECTIONS
The Gift
of Thanks
Your partner isn’t the
only one who benefits
from your appreciation
If you think the two best words in
a long-term relationship are separate
vacations, think again. Better words
are thank you. Saying thanks, re-
searchers at Florida State University
in Tallahassee have found, increases
“communal strength”—the degree of
responsibility one partner feels for
the other. So when you express grati-
tude, it can help you to trust and value
your partner—and your relationship.
“Gratitude also has a ‘remind and
bind’ effect on the person who feels
it—it reminds them that their partner
recognizes what’s important to them,
and that creates a stronger bond,”
adds Sara Algoe, Ph.D., research as-
sistant professor at the University
of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and
author of a related study. She says fail-
ing to recognize and acknowledge a
partner’s kindnesses—or recognizing
them and failing to comment—is a big
reason relationships grow stale. Just
one warning: When you say thanks,
don’t go overboard. To get benefits on
both sides, gratitude must be sincere,
Algoe says. —Melissa Gotthardt
Pigskin Perks
Why cheering for your favorite
team helps you feel connected
AARP THE MAGAZINE
Watching football, it turns out, is good for you: A study in the Journal
of Sport Behavior links strong team identification to higher levels of social
and psychological health. “Rooting for the home team promotes a feeling of
community and belonging—a sense that ‘we all think alike’—which reassures
the fan that he or she is united with others,” says Michelle Maidenberg, Ph.D.,
a White Plains, New York, psychologist. It’s a support system that applies
to baseball, hockey, hoops, even competitions such as American Idol. After
a victory, fans celebrate and share positive emotions. And while losses may
trigger extreme reactions, fans can find solace in one another: “They help
each other to become hopeful and emotionally resilient,” Maidenberg says.
Rewards are greatest in social settings, such as sports bars and stadiums,
but at-home viewers benefit, too. “When fans who watch sports in their living rooms jump, cheer, and yell at their TVs, they’re actually joining the other
fans at the stadium,” Maidenberg says. “They’re sharing their reactions and
responses and benefiting from connectedness with the group.” —M.G.
