conceals his anger. “I thought, ‘What
happened to this generation that needs
their kids to support them—not because they’re elderly but because they
won’t take responsibility?’”
In prior generations the shame
associated with addiction often kept
people from seeking treatment. But
midlife addicts—and, crucially, their
spouses—are far more open to confronting thorny issues. “Younger
spouses aren’t willing to take secrets
to their graves,” says interventionist
Debra Jay.
That makes boomers likelier than
their parents to seek therapy. Yet even
patients who can afford it must hunt
hard for rehab of any kind. Treatment
programs across the country have
dwindled in the past two decades, says
Fred Blow: “That’s something we’re
going to have to face as a nation; we
must have more treatment programs.
Older people can advocate for that.”
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Five years after the intervention
that changed his life, Ron Dash re-
mains clean and sober. Patricia, Ron,
and Sam now live in Florida, where
Ron bikes, swims, and attends 12-step
meetings in between driving Sam to
football practice and cooking dinner.
“After being pretty much absent all
those years, Ron has learned to be
Sam’s father,” says Patricia. “And he
has learned to be his friend.”
Despite the odds against them, she
and Ron have rebuilt their marriage.
It didn’t happen the day he walked out
of rehab, nor in the weeks and months
afterward. “I spent four years waiting
for the other shoe to drop,” Patricia
admits. “Not until this year have I
finally started trusting him again.”
“That was huge,” says Ron, ponder-
ing how his life might be otherwise.
“What happens to Sammy if we go
through all this trouble and the addict,
the alcoholic, doesn’t stay sober?”
He plans never to find out. ;
www.oramoist.com
Dry Mouth? Time- Released OraMoist Patch works for hours.
Elaine Appleton Grant is the health reporter at New Hampshire Public Radio, where
in 2010 she produced the series
Prescription Drug Abuse in New Hampshire.
AARP.ORG/MAGAZINE 79
