“The idea of ‘better living
through chemistry’—that you can
feel better by taking a pill—
that mind-set is killing boomers.”
—John Dyben, clinical director at the Hanley Center
of agony. But many of these drugs also cause euphoria. And that makes them highly addictive.
For people in recovery, pain medication can
be a rose with thorns. Consider Doug Bergon,*
a 50-year-old information-systems specialist
in Roanoke, Virginia. He has weathered addiction, alcoholism, and depression since age 14,
attempted suicide several times, and been in
and out of rehab for much of his life. In 1999, as
a new husband and father, Doug had been clean for nearly
four years when he developed a cyst from a knee injury. He
was referred to a surgeon for surgery, after which the doctor
prescribed oxycodone.
“I can’t take that,” Doug told the doctor. “I’ve had problems
with substance abuse.”
The physician dismissed his concerns. “You’re gonna be in
a lot of pain,” he told Doug. “Just take it as I’ve prescribed.”
But that can be tough for recovering addicts. “Oxycodone
is heroin in a pill,” Doug says. “It set off the craving, and I was
back on heroin in, like, a minute.”
Doug managed to conceal his heroin use from his wife,
Melissa,* until one night shortly before Christmas. “I was
getting ready for bed when I heard this weird buzzing sound,
* Names changed for privacy.
like a motor,” she recalls. “I went outside and nearly tripped
over the noise; it was Doug, lying by the pool, unconscious.
I thought he’d had a heart attack.”
When paramedics arrived, they said Doug “had come
within about four heartbeats of dying.” But not from a heart
attack: “Your husband’s had an overdose,” they told her.
“I could feel my life change in that instant,” says Melissa.
That it was heroin made it doubly horrifying: “I’d led such
a straight-arrow life, I couldn’t even say the word out loud.”
With Melissa’s help, Doug entered a Florida clinic run by
Hazelden, where he completed a three-month stint in rehab.
Good months were followed by relapses. In 2007, shortly
after he was dropped by his sponsor—someone who commits
to mentor an alcoholic through a 12-step program—Melissa
found Doug passed out on the couch in their study at 3 a.m.
after a drug-and-alcohol binge. That’s when she asked him to
Students fire up a hash pipe in 1973…
and commemorate April 20 in 2010.
PAUL AIKEN/ THE DAILY CAMERA/
AP PHOTO; OPPOSITE: CORBIS
campaign ( fourgenerations.org) and
has wrestled with the dilemma person-
ally. “I saw the worst of addiction and
the best of recovery,” he says. “I
dropped out of high school at 17
from addiction to anything and every-
thing you could obtain in small-town
Minnesota in the early ’70s.”
Luckily he landed in a good rehab fa-
cility, though it took him two years to
get sober. At 20, Seppala found his way
to college, then went on to medical
school. Three close friends were less
fortunate: They died of overdoses
shortly after Seppala went straight.
JANA M., 53, is passionate about
sharing her history—albeit edited—with
her two boys, ages 7 and 9. A lifelong
addict who used whatever she could
get her hands on (“My drug of choice
was ‘more,’” she wryly notes), Jana
finally got clean while pregnant with her
second son. “At this point my children
know that drugs are bad and that I’m
one of those people who got into trou-
ble with drugs,” she says. “It’s difficult to
know how much to divulge and how
much is age appropriate. But if there's
a genetic factor, I want them to know
they could be at higher risk.”
But what about the average, non-
addicted boomer? Do you really need
to tell your kids about that joint you
shared at a frat party? Well, yes,
Seppala says—but think hard about
how to frame your story: “For someone
who just experimented with pot or
other drugs, the reason they didn’t
keep using is important.”
SO TEACH YOUR children well: Tell
them why you experimented with
drugs—and why you chose to stop.
Then take it a step further: “Tell them
what you saw in your friends who made
the same decision and in those who
continued to use,” Seppala advises. “It’s
helpful for kids to see how we make decisions in general, and this decision in
particular. It’s a big one, and it’s definitely one that all teens are going to
have to make.” —E.A.G.
AARP.ORG/MAGAZINE 51
