THE BEST
OF YOUR LIFE
BUSY IS BE TTER Performing a task
boosts your mood more than sitting idly,
even if the task produces nothing of value.
FAMILY
It’s true: Sex can get better after the kids move out
ILLUSTRATION BY KAGAN MCLEOD BY GAIL SALTZ, M.D.
Rekindling the Flame
W
WHEN KATE’S YOUNGES T CHILD
left for college, she had mixed emotions. She was excited for her son
but sad about the loss of her daily,
kid-focused routine. Those feelings
didn’t surprise her—she’d heard all
about empty-nest syndrome from
her friends—though she was shocked
to learn that her husband felt just as
sad and alone as she did. “We started
talking,” Kate told me, “and pretty
soon we realized we’re in this together. It actually made us closer.” One
night Jim came home with a bottle
of wine and a pizza, and he and Kate
enjoyed a picnic in their den instead
of dinner at the table—because they
could. And then they had sex in the
kitchen—because they could.
Kate and Jim, like so many couples
I see in my counseling practice, suc-
cessfully moved past the loss of one
part of their life together into a new—
and sexy—phase. Of course not every
couple navigates the empty nest so
easily. Having the house to yourselves
can be tough at first; in fact, it’s a com-
mon trigger for divorce, because many
couples realize they have little left in
common except parenthood. But mar-
ital satisfaction may in fact improve
once kids take flight: women’s marital
satisfaction tends to increase after
their children have left home, accord-
ing to a study in the November 2008
issue of Psychological Science. That’s
not just because they have more free
time; it’s also because they enjoy their
partner more.
How steamy is your sexual relationship? Find out
by taking our quiz at
aarp.org/nakedtruth.
