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Meet the Real You

You think you know yourself—but your friends may know you better
Get ready to apologize. You’ve been
correcting your friends’ opinions
of you for years—but they were likely
right all along. In a recent experiment
at Washington University in St. Louis,
people took a series of tests (such as
an IQ exam) and rated themselves on
a 40-question personality scale—eval-
uating their neuroticism, extrover-
sion, and intellect. They then briefly
met with friends and strangers, who
rated them on the same scale. The
study subjects more accurately rated
their internal emotional traits, such as
anxiety, which makes sense: It’s hard
for others to know what you’re feel-
ing. But friends more accurately rated
intellectual traits, such as creativity.
And strangers were as good as friends
and the subjects themselves when
judging extrovert traits like leader-
ship and talkativeness.

If you’re putting the grrr in grouchy, you may need more glucose. Low glucose levels affect self-control because we lack the energy required to stop ourselves from snapping. Researchers at three U.S. universities recently asked participants to fast before taking an aggression test. Those who drank a glass of sugar-sweetened lemonade before the test acted less aggressively than those who drank lemonade with a sugar substitute (which didn’t affect glucose levels). “It takes a lot of self-control not to retaliate when somebody behaves aggressively toward us,” says Brad Bushman, Ph.D., the study’s coauthor and an Ohio State University professor. ( People with diabetes are at a disadvantage because they have trouble using glucose for energy.) If you’re feeling ornery, try a small, healthy snack like fruit to restore your glucose levels. Or regain control by stepping away and taking a few calming breaths. And if a loved one is moody between meals, try to understand. “Giving people the benefit of the doubt can help smooth over relationships,” Bushman says. —Sandra McLean

FROM TOP: ILLUSTRATION BY JULIETTE BORDA; PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY JOANNA FOUCHEUX (PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES)

Simine Vazire, Ph.D., assistant profes-
sor of psychology at the university. So
if your loved ones opine about how
you feel, feel free to reject their opin-
ions. But if they comment on your
personality—whether you’re funny
or friendly, for instance—be open-
minded, even if you disagree. “Don’t
believe everything you think about
yourself,” Vazire says. “Personality
is not who you think you are; it’s who
you are.” —Leslie Quander Wooldridge