AARP’s online community is a kind of “wisdom circle”
that draws on the shared experiences of AARP members.
This column is adapted from an online discussion.
OF YOUR LIFE
Will too much togetherness damage a happy marriage?
line: You and your husband should talk
about your concerns. He may be as worried as you are. Airing this out will make
the adjustment easier—for both of you.
RESPONSE #2 Your husband worked
for this his entire life. It will be a huge
change for him too. You’re used to having
the house to yourself; he’s used to being
outside the home. He could consider volunteering or joining a club, and you could
make sure you each have your own space.
If someone needs to leave the house,
that’s okay, but if you can stay out of each
other’s way at home, that’s even better.
Dear Wisdom Circle,
I’m a homemaker, and my husband
is hoping to retire in the next few
years. Ninety-five percent of me is
looking forward to his retirement,
but 5 percent is concerned. Will he
help me scrub and dust, or relax in a
lawn chair? Will he critique the way
I wind the vacuum cord? It sounds
silly, but I imagine our relationship
will change. What can I do to ease
the transition? —Forward Thinker
RESPONSE #3 When my dad retired
(Mom was a homemaker), they took up a
new hobby: adventurous cooking. Since
they had time, they would cook elaborate,
experimental dishes. I’d advise finding
activities that are mutually interesting.
After I wrote in, my husband was
laid off for six weeks. He found a
new job but took a big pay cut. While
he looked for work, he sometimes
seemed at a loss for how else to fill
his time. Now I fear his retirement will
be delayed but still wonder what will
change. You all motivated me to consider what I want—I al ways imagined
being an active grandmother, but
my children aren’t cooperating!—so
I think I should find something new
once my husband is home for keeps.
RESPONSE #1 You’re smart to start
thinking about this now. I had a friend
whose husband nearly drove her crazy
when he retired. After about a month
he started criticizing all her housework
and reorganizing her cupboards. Eventually he found a volunteer project and
she got her spice cabinet back. Bottom
HOW TO JOIN
To ask or answer a question,