My Spouse Won’t Wear His Sleep Apnea Mask—
and It’s Killing Our Sex Life ... NOW WHAT?
My husband is a snorer, and he has only gotten
louder over the years. He finally went to a
doctor, who diagnosed him with sleep apnea
and fitted him with a continuous positive airway
pressure (CPAP) mask to help him breathe—
and to help me sleep. But often my husband won’t wear
the mask; he says it’s uncomfortable and unflattering. On
nights he goes without it, the apnea returns, so I head
to another room to sleep. Our sex life is suffering. Help!
Q
ANSWER: This quandary
plagues many couples. As
you know, sleep apnea is a
common—but serious—
disorder in which the suf-
ferer periodically stops
breathing during sleep. It’s
characterized by obnox-
ious levels of snoring and
disturbed sleep, resulting
in fatigue during the day.
Apnea has been linked to
high blood pressure, and in
rare cases it can be fatal.
Unfortunately, the stan-
dard treatment, the CPAP
mask, is indeed somewhat
bulky and unsexy (on some
models, the air tube looks
like an elephant’s trunk).
Thus, “it has a rotten adher-
ence rate,” says sleep sci-
entist Rosalind Cartwright,
Ph.D., professor emeritus
at Rush University Medical
Center in Chicago.
Not to despair! CPAPs,
Cartwright says, though
widely prescribed, are
necessary only for severe
apnea cases. Many others
can be treated with acrylic
mouth guards that help
keep the airway open, or
even by losing weight.
