AARP’s online community is a kind of wisdom circle
that draws on the shared experiences of AARP members.
This column is adapted from an online discussion.
‘Why Does He Keep Leaving Me?’
Her fiancé jilted her twice, and she wonders if she should let go
THE DILEMMA
THE CIRCLE SAYS
Response #1 Walk away.
You deserve better than this.
It seems his ex-wife still has
a place in his heart, whether
he’s willing to admit it or not.
You don’t erase 25 years of
memories in two short years.
Rebound relationships like
this are doomed to fail.
Remember, if he treats you
like this now, he’d treat you
the same once you were
married. So join a dance club
or go on a cruise and meet
someone who is truly ready
for a new relationship.
some time to heal, you’ll
realize he’s done you a big
favor by leaving.
Response #3 I can
imagine how confusing this
seems, but getting engaged
to a man who just left a
25-year marriage seems like
desperation—for both of you.
It may be painful now, but at
least you control your future.
You’ve been successful
on your own all these years.
Don’t let him interfere with
your peace of mind.
THE RESOLUTION Response #2 I’ve had
more of these experiences
than I can count, including
four marriages that ended
in divorce. I know things are
hard now and wish I could
tell you a painless way to
overcome it. After you’ve had
I finally broke down and called Dave. He said there was no other woman, repeating he “just
didn’t feel the same.” I’ve endured breakups before, but never from a relationship I was so
sure about. It’s been a struggle. About a month later I e-mailed him to see if we could be
friendly, since we travel in the same circles. That’s when I found out he’s seeing someone
else—I guess he’s not struggling—and he gave me the “I wish you the best” line. I should have
gotten the message when he broke our engagement. I’m better now that I know it’s over,
and I’m looking forward to the next chapter in my life. —Adapted by Karen Westerberg Reyes
ILLUSTRATION BY KAGAN MCLEOD
HOW TO JOIN
THE CIRCLE
To ask your own question, or to answer someone
else’s, visit
aarp.org/wisdomcircle.
